Last we left FiFi Jo she had a blonde Station Master in the closet of her wilderness hut and a man claiming to be her website date, ‘Pumped69’, in the lounge room. No, this is not a metaphor for anything….what will she do?!
Being a naturally very forgiving and unselfish person, I accept ‘Pumped69’ at face value. His value in this circumstance being the crate of top shelf vodka he brings for our enjoyment, and not the fact he lied profusely about his age, height, looks and hair line. Damning the day I stopped using an intravenous drip for such occasions, I proceed to allow ‘Pumped69’ entry and full use of the kitchen, a room I know nothing about and could not manoeuvre around if I tried. Whilst he is pre-occupied with certain unnecessariness like ice, lime and glassware, I decide to check on Blondie in the boudoir. Thought I had heard a sexy murmuring earlier. Perhaps he is lying languidly on the bed awaiting my agile and youthful company.
Unfortunately, no such luck. Not only is there not a Blonde God on the bed winking at me suggestively, but there is no unconscious body in the closet either! I check all the nooks and crannies of the bedroom, but alas! My shining blonde knight has escaped! He is on the lam…from me! Why on earth would he not hang around after all I’ve done for him?! I turn to close the shutters on the open window and wonder - how did he escape? Cannot fathom some people’s attitudes to a good time, but let him go as a lost cause.
Return to the lounge room to find a raging wood fire blazing in the hearth, with a delectable picnic of cold meat treats and delicacies spread out in front of it. Well, there is something to be said for the middle aged men of this world over the young. They do know their way into a woman’s heart, with fire, dead beast and male company being my three main guilty pleasures. With a large plastic cup of vodka adding to the icing on the noticeably absent cake, I decide to relax into ‘Pumped69’s obvious wooing technique. I may have been wrong all these years. Choosing men with the body of a lumberjack but all the charm of a tree over men with a working knowledge of a woman’s mind and body may be the way to go. Their bulging hip pockets and gold credit cards can’t hurt either ladies! Well, what would you do?
Fifi has a way with a plastic cup and conversation.
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